Tadpoles Are Really Ugly

There is an old asian proverb, that goes, 'The frog forgets his time as a tadpole'. The related folktale is that tadpoles, as a tadpole, yearn to grow in to a frog. They wriggle around hard, trying hard to grow their legs. However, once they morph in to their dreams, they forget their past and act like they've gotten their dreams by working hard, believing themselves a 'self-made man,' when they are actually the product of a biological predisposition that have been to applied equally, self made or not, to their ancestors.

The irony isn't only applied to animals in the folktale. Real life examples exist everywhere: The white community from "The Raisin In the Sun" is a perfect example. They too were tadpoles, working hard in order to achieve their dreams. Yet, they decide to ignore other people's dreams, because they aren't tadpoles anymore.

Does success negatively impact people on who they are as people? While the question is not a rhetorical, it cannot be denied that they change, good or bad. Windows founder Bill Gates uses his pile of money to help the poor, and rapper Game set up a music studio in a public high school. However, we can never tell if they are still in contact with those they have known before success. In fact, countless numbers of celebrities refuse to date those that are not celebrities.

What is true to multiple extents, however, is the outrageous attitude of Karl and the community. The ugly racism aside, they decided that their dreams are superior than other people's dreams. The way they outright ignore there slightly different (mind you, different does not equal wrong) shows how self centered and selfish humans can be. It is undeniable that humanity must work towards resolving these problems; not only racism, but the selfishness that potentially lies under all of us.

Pop Goes the Dream

So Gatsby is a self made man. Be it. But what came out of it?

Jay Gatsby, in the Roaring Twenties novel, "Great Gatsby", by F. Scott Fitzgerald, is illustrated as a self made man who has built his wealth and reputation in a common goal to get his dream girl, Daisy Faye Buchanan. Sadly a few problems already rest for Gatsby. She's already married, Jay; if you want a girl, you gotta go get her quick if you really want her.

But once he has finished building his ability to run parties on a weekly basis, Daisy was already married. While the that fact allowed Gatsby to be held 'esteemed' among his 'peers' (oh, the irony), he had only one goal to achieve such success: Daisy. Once he loses this sense of goal, he lacks a reason to continue on. In this sense, he loses nothing when Wilson kills him. 

This seems to be a running theme between pieces from Fitzgerald; another example is his short story, "Winter Dreams", in which Dexter goes after a deja vu - causing rich girl named Judy Jones. Dexter also happens to be a "self-made man". But similar to Jay, he finds Judy, many years later, not only married, but left without her beauty. 

Society considers 'self-made' an extraordinary attribute. But even such can lack a meaning if dreams are popped. 

"We made ourselves, one by one like Lego blocks

Got the fire in me goin, blocks melt down

What's this for if I can even tell who I am

Let me break back apart and organize my dreams"

-Fana, "Still a Team"

Dolla Dolla Bill Y'All

Welcome to the Jazz Age. The government has prohibited alchohol usage. However, people party on a weekly basis like there's no tomorrow, with more and more people becoming a part of the wealthy elites. Economy itself is sky high, people are having a marvelous time. Are these people happy?

Fast forward one hundred years. Artists have started to spread the message that "Cash rules everything around [them]" (C.R.E.A.M. - Wu-Tang Clan), criticizing how much money is important in our lives. Jessie J goes further to say that "It seems like everybody's got a price" (Price Tag - Jessie J). This change in culture vastly reflects how much people are aware of materialistic views.

The "Great Gatsby", the famed novel by Robert Fitzgerald, set in the Jazz Age, shows the influence of materialistic values on the American society. While people may look happy, they can often be seen unhappy; couples argue at parties, affairs are common, and many die at parties. Then the party resumes the next week, or even that very night. Behind the jazz music and the group of fancy dancers, only sadness awaits. 

America already experienced what happens. The 1930s were a mess. However, the 'money money money' state of mind continued on. This is still illustrated today, such as the Black Friday sales. The day before is Thanksgiving, when people supposedly are thankful of what they have. They hurry to finish dinner and run to the mall to get in line to get in their favorite shops and buy a bagful of clothes or electronics. The irony ensues every year.

People are becoming more and more aware of such ugly fact about America. The materialistic views, however, are not changing. Furthermore, America is one of the biggest examples that developing countries follow in order to gain economical success. To serve a good example, and also for their own good, America needs to not only be aware, but improve the way it thinks about the dollar bills.

"Goddamnit I like it

Bright lights [are] enticing

But look what it did to Tyson

All the money in one night

Thirty mil for one fight, 

but soon as all that money blows,

all the pigeons take flight"

-Jay Z - Holy Grail

New World

It was late at night. I was sleepy and almost done with my English homework. Wondering why I was procrastinating, I started to read the essay,"Sanctuary: For Harry Potter The Movie" by Nikki Giovani, while thinking why both the colon and "For" is in the title and how the authors name resembled a certain female rapper. Questions started to hit my tired state of mind, asking what relationship drums have with the fictional childhood hero of mine, while words crashed onto my thoughtless brain...until I saw the words, "New World Symphony." (77)

You may need to go to Youtube to view the video. But then again Karajan is amazing.

Memories started to flow back in. I was 5th grade, half way through the year, possibly early fall*. I recieved about 8 or 9, possibly 10 pages of music as a second chair second violinist. And yet there I was, flipping through the pages while furiously wondering how I'd be able to lead the section when I had no idea how to play half the notes. First rehearsal was a mess. I remember the conductor telling everyone that it's ok, and that if we all practice, we'd be able to play it well. Months flew by and I remember sitting on stage, staring at the conductor, ready to play the Finale to the Dvorak's 9th Symphony, also known as the New World Symphony. 

Or people often know the Romantic masterpiece as the theme song to the 1975 thriller movie, Jaws. While composer John Williams sampled the Finale to resemble the sharks, Dvorak was thinking of trains when he wrote the piece back in 1892. In fact, he was known to be a big fan of steam locomotives. This showed up in his pieces: the New World Symphony is a perfect example. The phrase where the introductory Adagio accelerates into a faster Allegro sequence in the first movement and the beginning of the the 4th movement, the Finale, the part William sampled for his work on Jaws, are both known to resemble locomotives slowly speeding up.

The No. 9 was named "New World Symphony" for various reasons. Trains, was fairly new, and for Dvorak, who had just moved to America from Czech to conduct at one of the most prestigious conservatories in New York for three years. To him, America itself was a 'new world.' However, there is a seperate reason to why Giovanni alludes to the piece in her essay.

When Dvorak was writing the symphony, he was influenced strongly by Native American and African American music. He, instead of borrowing Native American or African American tunes, invented his own in that of a similar fashion to them. He even insisted that the third movement "was suggested by the scene at the feast in Hiawatha where the Indians dance...imparting local color of an Indian character..." Hiwatha refers to Longfellow's hit epic poem, "The Song of Hiawatha," the story of and Native American hero. Dvorak, in his own way, was already accepting the marginalized parts of society. 

This, coincidentally, falls right on to Nikki Giovanni's purpose in her writing. She, in her essay, calls attention to marginalized parts of society and illustrates the theme of acceptance. The New World Symphony is a perfect match. Giovanni uses this allusion not only to refer to a 'new world' of acceptance, but also to show the efforts of accepting diverse parts of the American society.

The concert was a success. Parents, friends, teachers, and everyone else loved it. It was so popular that the next year, before I graduated, we played the piece one more time.** It were these memories that woke up my half asleep brain on that recent night.

*When I was in 5th grade, I was in Korea, where the semester starts in March and resumes for the second half in September.

**In Korea, there are 6 years in elementary school, followed by 3 in middle and high school.

Direct quotes of Dvorak from Kennedy Center webpage.

WWW:Punctuation

In this ever-changing world, punctuation is set of unchanging rules that reflect upon the style and tone of the writer, and is therefore the necessity to effectively present speech in a clear and organized manner. The primary role of punctuation in the English language (and many other languages) is to give speech clarity, making it comprehendible for the readers. The error in punctuation, however, creates confusion and chaos within the text. Twitter, for example, has created  "dystopian images of...weird alpha-numerical hybrid codes (Gr8 C u l8r...)." (Source A). Not only do these stray from traditional formats in writing, but they fail to clearly give readers a message. In fact, they may give off two separate interpretations, depending on the reader's viewpoint. The image rhetoric, respectively, shows readers the importance of Oxford commas by presenting two phrases to the readers: "strippers, jfk, and stalin" and "strippers, jfk and stalin." (Image Source). While the phrases that originate from the erroneous punctuation may be enjoyable, it certainly cannot fulfill it's role in correctly communicating to the readers. The rules of punctuation must continue to serve their purposes in order to sustain the order in newly developing technologies. If, on the other hand, punctuation were to change with the world, it would require change often, and will not be able to be integrated fast enough and ultimately become a jumble of confusion. Additionally, many have claimed that erroneous punctuation enhance writer's style and expression by giving them a "trail of possibilities."(Source B) This can be true to some extent, but expression and style both cannot hold any value when it is not understandable. Instead, punctuation should be considered even further important for it's ability to convey style and tone. Each punctuation have their own connotations. Dashes give an "informal and essentially playful" tone, and semicolons are able to tell readers that "there is still some more...to be added" like "[grocery] bags" (Source D, E). Yet, these two punctuation marks are both used to mark pauses in sentences. It is evident that with emergence of new technologies, punctuation is becoming more and more crucial to maintain order in speech than before, and also to express the writer's tone and style. *WWW stands for Writing With Warren and indicates that the blog post is much more formal compared to a regular blog post.

Somewhere In America, Miley Cyrus is Still Twerkin'

People sell things that's not normal.It's nothing new; China tea cups were a hit, and so was Marilyn Monroe. And so is Miley Cyrus.

It only took one year for the internet to replace image search results of the pop star from Hannah Montana to a half naked lady shaking her butt off. It's really amazing yet awful. After all, someone to having their image replaced within such a short amount of time is not a common thing. This is also the reason her change was such an issue.

The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, portrayed a similar situation. Hester was labeled the A, a physical label that declared her an adulterer. This caused mass hysteria against Hester in the village; mobs formed around her and she was sent the bottom of the social hierarchy.

What should be noted is the reaction. People go crazy on Hester, demanding that the A is not enough, or that she should be executed (Chapter 2). Mob mentality does play a role here (except maybe that lady who speaks against those yell at Hester), but the fact is that she was sensational enough to have sermons preached about her. This is the same thing Miley Cyrus went for.

Miley Cyrus claimed (after she got the haircut) that she "never felt more her." Whether this is true or not, this generated a huge media reaction that is still ongoing, one year later. What is true, however, is that her single, "Wrecking Ball" became phenomenal. The fact that she got a bunch of hate comments doesn't matter too much; she got the views and the media spotlight. She gave herself the label, and used it to her own advantage.

People have said that the fact that women get labeled based on their behavior is an example of gender inequality. This is completely true, as it can be harmful not only to the women who cannot go unmarked, but also to the men, who cannot get marked as much as women. Deborah Tennen, in her essay, "There is No Unmarked Women", points out that most men dress in a similar fashion. But what if the regular businessman wants to look different from the guy next to him?

The correct solution to solving the gender difference does not lie in reducing all labels of women. Changing the perspective on the opposite gender too is a step closer to gender equality.

Chillings

I like to call Chillingsworth, from the romantic historical fiction, The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, Chillings. This actually has a few reasons. Besides from the fact that his name is too long, the character is often portrayed as an angry man who seeks revenge on whoever gave the A on hit chest of his love. With all his anger, he needs to go 'Chillin'. While we discussed him in class, I noticed many students viewed him as the flat antagonist. Hawthorne, furthermore, portrays Chillings as an ugly hunchback who gets even worse as his intentions turn darker. Portrayals like these obviously do not appeal well to the readers; it simply isn't meant to. Hawthorne, through his portrayal of Chillings, tell us that revenge is not worth it.

One time he said you never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them.
-Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

Let's put on Chillingsworth's shoes for a minute. He loves his beautiful bride, Hester. He had to send her first to America while he took care of buisness in Europe. He got in a shipwreck. And he got captured by Indians. After the long journey to his wife, he finds out that the love he had been yearning for is accused of sleeping with another man, with a baby in her arms as a bonus. Well that's lovely.

Chillings is truly loved his wife, and this becomes his motivation for his revenge. The course of actions he has been through, in order to reach Hester, is enough mental pressure. Furthermore, he loves Hester very dearly, quite unlike most men at this time period. For example, he promises not to hurt not only Hester, but also her baby. This, even compared to men today, takes not only understanding and mercy, but love. Chillings, from his point of view, only gets uglier and uglier because beautiful with love in the inside. He is the true oyster and the true, "Pearl."

"During the Goreyo Dynasty, Hanyeos(female sea diving hunters)

didnt even pick up the oysters, because obviously it is ugly on the outside.

It was not until almost 200 years later when theiy changed their point of views

and found out that these were so beautiful on the inside."

What is This? Water? I See Me! And a Bunch of Other Things Behind Me!

Even if you're not a rose

Be a sweet Narcissus,

A fanatic of self-existence

-Fana, Move Again

David Foster Wallace, in his commencement speech, This is Water, begins with a short didactic about fish, how the younger fish does not notice "What the hxll" water is. (1) Wallce compares this with human thought; how we don't notice that we are thinking all the time, and therefore should control of what we are thinking. Instead of making self centered thoughts, he claims that we all think toward others.

Ok. Sure. You can go ahead. Not me though.

One thing that differentiates me from, say, Billy the ape is that I am able to think more than they do. Besides that, and the fact that they are hairier than myself, we are pretty much the same. We both share the goal of surviving and thriving. In this aspect, thinking for ourselves is an obvious perspective. This is exactly why Wallce calls this "default settings." (5) But is this bad?

Thought is a natural process. Harnessing it so you make it is not natural, you are simply thinking about thinking. This is a mere waste of brainpower and time. Take the example Wallace gives us. He says it is not impossible for people in SUVs have "been in horrible auto accidents" which is the reason behind their poor driving. The possibility is there, but this, for many of us, is not the first thought that comes into mind. Making second hand thoughts, or purposely created thoughts, does not impact our actual emotions. Rather, it takes up time and space.

Thinking positively is obviously a positive thing to do. Question is, how do we achieve it? The process Wallace explains is effective, but the development until one can naturally think optimitcally takes quite an amount of time and willpower. A solution is blocking out negative self centered thoughts.

Back on the highway, with our slow SUV Wallace has given us. Instead of thinking about why the heck it's so slow, just think about something else. The bushy hair that need to be cut. That new bag of chips you bought. Your family at home. The new Kanye West album. Wait, where did the SUV go?

What I'm saying is you don't need to change a potentially negative topic good. Just change the topic.

Freedumb

Being independent is a great thing. Whether it is gaining independence from a oppressive ruler, or going off to college to run away from parents, people work so hard to get it, and when they do, they get a great feeling as if opportunities have been pleasantly presensted to them like gifts on a Chrsitmas morning. What might be in the gift can be a box of toys. Or, it can be coal.

I always had my own reason for the entire 'naughty children get coal' story. Coal is used as a source of energy, just like it warmed up millions of households all over asia during the 70s and 80s, or the iconical train that runs on coal. Without coal, there would be no heat in the small houses, or fuel that allows trains to go forward. Coal, then, symbolizes a motivational push for the 'naughty' kids.

America got a box of coal on the day it won the war with Britain. The box, on the outside, looked very pleasant, with all the colorful wrapping and ribbons. Once it was opened, however, they faced problem after problem until they were able to create a great country. The coal was only there as a source of energy for the Americans.

Today, America has freedom. Americans also have freedom. Problem is, freedom, and furthermore independence, is only coal. What and how we use it is what determines the outcome.

The colonists wanted to free themselves from the British for several reasons,  including political and economical issues. However, the 'independent' America only recreated these conflicts with the rest of the world, or within the nation itself. Being independent requires great sense of responsibility and these are the things America lacks. America is not the only country that became independent from another country, nor the only country that gurantees equal rights. America's next job, then, is to organize those rights so that the rights Americans fought for doesn't become hidden under a pile of work they have to go through.

We lead the world in only three categories: Number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next twenty-six countries combined, twenty-five of whom are allies.

Who I Am (My Name is My Name)

It’s not a well-known fact, but I listen to hip hop quite often. Coincidentally, one of my friends, who also listen to the genre quite often, suggested an album to me, named My Name is My Name by Pusha T. The album discussed who he is as a rapper, his reputation in the scene, and about his drug dealing backgrounds, using his name as a metaphor to represent who he is. Most importantly, he often talked about protecting (and developing) his reputation.

To ourselves, our name mean who we are. To others, it means our reputation. Understanding this fact and taking advantage of it is crucial in many situations. John Proctor has his own name in Salem; people recognize not only the physical being of John Proctor, but his reputation in the village. That's one of the reasons he hesitates to reveal his adultery with Abigail; because such fact will ruin his reputation, or his 'name'. This is made into a motif in the play and is often referenced. Abigail, in Act 1, claims that Elizabeth is "telling lies about [her]", and that she is therefore "blackening [her] name in the village." (Miller, 460). Pusha T does a very similar thing in his album.

I was thinking 'bout murdering

I ain't getting my hands dirty

Let you worry 'bout serving them

- Pusha T, "Who I Am"

The lines explain that he doesn't actually do the dirty work in order to save his reputation. Instead, he lets his followers do it for him. In a sense, Abigail does a very similar thing; she doesn't actually send people off to jail. Instead, she blames them for witchery, and saves her name from being 'blackened'. Instead, it is Cheever who actually fetches the women. After all, she does run off once Proctor reveals his adultery with her, which had ruined her reputation.

Parris: ...Your name in the town-it is entirely white, is it not?

Abigail (with an edge of resentment): Why, I am sure it is sir. There be no blush about my name.

- Miller, The Crucible, Act 1, 127-130

Pusha T - Who I Am (ft. 2 Chainz, Big Sean)

The song isn't actually bad if you're into hip hop.

Except maybe 2 Chainz.

Make Stuff Up As I Go

The first time I ran into the idea of fabricating memories was back in 5th grade when I was arguing with my mother over whether or not I had put away my laundry. My mother claimed that I did not put away my laundry; I argued that I did. Someone was clearly making something up. However, the first time I actually ran into the concept from a more academic perspective was recently when I started to take the AP Psychology class. Our teacher, Mrs.Forshey, told us that anyone is susceptible to falsely fabricating memories. This came to me as a small suprise. Afterall, it seemed that it could be easily possible for people to imagine things of their past with simple suggestions. It seemed like it wasn't much of a deal, like that time I argued with my mother.

Until, I hit The Crucible.

The play included a few characters who had fabricated memories. Mary Warren, for example, fabricates memories of witchcraft upon pressure and accusations from Abigail and the girls. Her only natural instincts to survive points out into Proctor's direction, saying that it was him who had forced witchcraft upon her. They both end up behind bars. Unsuprisingly, the entire hysteria began with a similar situation, when Tituba falsely confessed of worshipping the Devil.

The play completely changed my view on psychology and how much power it can yield upon an individual. The power of suggestion is a phrase that demonstrates how much suggestion can affect another person, espercially in recreating a memory. For example, an unskilled psychologist would ask their patients to think of a time when they had a traumatic experience, such as sexual abuse. The patient naturally desires to appeal to those in authority (psychologist in this case) and imagines the memory that matches what the psychologist says. A step further from such actions is the False Memory Syndrome, in which a person strongly believes that a traumatic experience that never happened did happen, and centers their lifestyle around such falsely constructed memory. This is the exact phenomenon that fuels the hysteria in The Crucible. The townspeople construct false memories of witches, and start to accuse others for the sake of it.

The human memory such a strong yet fragile thing. It provides the ability to store information, yet it is so weak that it can be easily manipulated by a bunch of doctors asking questions.

Religion, From a Non-Religious Viewpoint

I'm not religious. I guess I do share some Buddhist beliefs, but that does not mean that I visit Buddhist temples on a regular basis. However, if I had to say something, I'd say Confucianism, but that's not even considered a religion anymore, so I just end up telling people that I'm not religious.

This was why Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God frightened me. In this sermon from the 1700s, Puritan preacher Jonathan Edwards writes about how much God is angry, and how he is giving human beings another chance to join Christianity. His vivid yet dark presentation of hell left a strong impression on me, and I was struck in awe after reading through the sermon for my assignment. And apparently, the reaction was quite worse for the actual listeners back when Edwards preached the sermon; his audience interrupted him quite often, asking what they had to do in order to be saved. In other words, they had already been convinced by Edwards in to Puritanism.

Religion has its ups and downs. For instance, it can be a good place to rely on, where people can emotionally calm down. However, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God is a perfect example as to how religion can have a negative effect on people. It creates fear and by doing so gains more followings. The Nazis were the same. They created a certain public emotion and manipulated it to gain followers.

Like so, religion can be a great thing in your life. However, for those who are not religious, it can be a great threat in their own set of beliefs. For example, posts about God or Jesus Christ can be seen all over SNS, mocking those who do not accept the religion. In fact, Atheism is still very widely unaccepted in America. 7 states in the US do not accept Atheists in public office. I thought America provided the Freedom of Religion?

Maybe religious people nowadays are not as unaccepting as the Puritans are, but I still get the awkward stares from people when I go to church for some odd occasion, as if it's telling me that not going to church every Sunday is a wrong thing to do. I do not think I'll ever forget that stare.

"How awful it is to be left behind at such a day!" (Edwards , 100)

Planters Mixed Nuts: Stereotype Threat Edition

I hadn't really known about this 'Indian' or 'Native American' stereotype until I read the short stories of The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven and Indian Education by Alexie Sherman. I was aware of racial stereotypes; I myself often fall into one of the categories. However, being a teen who spent half his life in the East and half in the West, I think that I just didn't realize how deep each culture is.

Stereotypes can be a funny joke or a dangerous cause of unfortunate events. The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven and Indian Education is a perfect example. In page 184, Sherman shows himself "goofing" with a 7-11 clerk when he asks for a slushie. The clerk assumes that, since his customer is Native American, he will shoot him when he turned around to make the slushie. While Sherman meant to make fun of the clerk, it could have been a serious misunderstanding if he had not intended the prank.

The word 'stereotype threat' refers to someone being worried about confirming their negative stereotypes. In 1995, Steele and Aronson ran an experiment where they gave english tests to two groups of African American and White students. The first group (threat group) were told that their results will show how intelligent they are; the second (no threat group) were told that it was simple exercise. The diagram on the right are the results.

The two psychologists concluded that this was because of the racial prejudice against African Americans. The stereotypes for African Americans include being 'dumb', and the students were naturally more pressured because they were worried that  they'd confirm this prejudice.

In a bag of mixed nuts, there are a diversity of nuts, including walnuts, pecans, peanuts, and cashew nuts. We look at the types of nuts and then generalize how they all taste. Soon, all the walnuts taste the same and all the peanuts taste the same. However, one walnut might be bigger than the others. One peanut could be more salted than others. People are just the same. Some of the people in the world could be Native Americans, but that doesn't mean that they all get in fights or get drunk everyday. Each one of us are different, so please respect the difference. 

Now the next time you get a bag of mixed nuts, remember to savor each nut, and to appreciate the difference in the amount of sea salt it has.

Paying an Attention to Heritage...

Back in 3rd grade I lived in an American town full of Japanese immigrants. Most of my peers only had Japanese parents and had never been to Japan. To be honest, they didn't act all too different from my friends back in Korea or Canada. Heritage, such as genes or upbringing, may affect the way you look or even the way you pronounce a word in English. But that'll be pretty much it; it is unlikely that it will affect any more of who you are.

Mark Twain, in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, portrayed this theme very well. Near the climax of the story, protagonist Huck is found pondering his possibilities, and whether he should rescue his friend, a runaway slave named Jim. His decisions and actions are not interfered by his heritage at this point. Huck follows his own set of beliefs that he had developed throughout his adventures, acting differently from what other people had done before him and shown him. His character as a person wasn't a result of his skin color, or his home town. It was his experiences and the way they were presented upon him.

This was the case with president Obama's election back in 2008. His genes him his skin color, but it did not give him his victory in election and his actions as a president. However, he will be remembered by many as the first African American president, and not much more. This is why heritage, while it does not determine who we are as a person, still plays an important role as to how we are seen by others.

Think of it like this. The Japanese, during WWII, invaded many Southeast Asian nations and killed thousands of people. However, that does not make my Japanese friends from 3rd grade a bunch of cold blooded murderers.


Does heritage determine who we are as people?

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn