What is This? Water? I See Me! And a Bunch of Other Things Behind Me!

Even if you're not a rose

Be a sweet Narcissus,

A fanatic of self-existence

-Fana, Move Again

David Foster Wallace, in his commencement speech, This is Water, begins with a short didactic about fish, how the younger fish does not notice "What the hxll" water is. (1) Wallce compares this with human thought; how we don't notice that we are thinking all the time, and therefore should control of what we are thinking. Instead of making self centered thoughts, he claims that we all think toward others.

Ok. Sure. You can go ahead. Not me though.

One thing that differentiates me from, say, Billy the ape is that I am able to think more than they do. Besides that, and the fact that they are hairier than myself, we are pretty much the same. We both share the goal of surviving and thriving. In this aspect, thinking for ourselves is an obvious perspective. This is exactly why Wallce calls this "default settings." (5) But is this bad?

Thought is a natural process. Harnessing it so you make it is not natural, you are simply thinking about thinking. This is a mere waste of brainpower and time. Take the example Wallace gives us. He says it is not impossible for people in SUVs have "been in horrible auto accidents" which is the reason behind their poor driving. The possibility is there, but this, for many of us, is not the first thought that comes into mind. Making second hand thoughts, or purposely created thoughts, does not impact our actual emotions. Rather, it takes up time and space.

Thinking positively is obviously a positive thing to do. Question is, how do we achieve it? The process Wallace explains is effective, but the development until one can naturally think optimitcally takes quite an amount of time and willpower. A solution is blocking out negative self centered thoughts.

Back on the highway, with our slow SUV Wallace has given us. Instead of thinking about why the heck it's so slow, just think about something else. The bushy hair that need to be cut. That new bag of chips you bought. Your family at home. The new Kanye West album. Wait, where did the SUV go?

What I'm saying is you don't need to change a potentially negative topic good. Just change the topic.

Freedumb

Being independent is a great thing. Whether it is gaining independence from a oppressive ruler, or going off to college to run away from parents, people work so hard to get it, and when they do, they get a great feeling as if opportunities have been pleasantly presensted to them like gifts on a Chrsitmas morning. What might be in the gift can be a box of toys. Or, it can be coal.

I always had my own reason for the entire 'naughty children get coal' story. Coal is used as a source of energy, just like it warmed up millions of households all over asia during the 70s and 80s, or the iconical train that runs on coal. Without coal, there would be no heat in the small houses, or fuel that allows trains to go forward. Coal, then, symbolizes a motivational push for the 'naughty' kids.

America got a box of coal on the day it won the war with Britain. The box, on the outside, looked very pleasant, with all the colorful wrapping and ribbons. Once it was opened, however, they faced problem after problem until they were able to create a great country. The coal was only there as a source of energy for the Americans.

Today, America has freedom. Americans also have freedom. Problem is, freedom, and furthermore independence, is only coal. What and how we use it is what determines the outcome.

The colonists wanted to free themselves from the British for several reasons,  including political and economical issues. However, the 'independent' America only recreated these conflicts with the rest of the world, or within the nation itself. Being independent requires great sense of responsibility and these are the things America lacks. America is not the only country that became independent from another country, nor the only country that gurantees equal rights. America's next job, then, is to organize those rights so that the rights Americans fought for doesn't become hidden under a pile of work they have to go through.

We lead the world in only three categories: Number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next twenty-six countries combined, twenty-five of whom are allies.

Who I Am (My Name is My Name)

It’s not a well-known fact, but I listen to hip hop quite often. Coincidentally, one of my friends, who also listen to the genre quite often, suggested an album to me, named My Name is My Name by Pusha T. The album discussed who he is as a rapper, his reputation in the scene, and about his drug dealing backgrounds, using his name as a metaphor to represent who he is. Most importantly, he often talked about protecting (and developing) his reputation.

To ourselves, our name mean who we are. To others, it means our reputation. Understanding this fact and taking advantage of it is crucial in many situations. John Proctor has his own name in Salem; people recognize not only the physical being of John Proctor, but his reputation in the village. That's one of the reasons he hesitates to reveal his adultery with Abigail; because such fact will ruin his reputation, or his 'name'. This is made into a motif in the play and is often referenced. Abigail, in Act 1, claims that Elizabeth is "telling lies about [her]", and that she is therefore "blackening [her] name in the village." (Miller, 460). Pusha T does a very similar thing in his album.

I was thinking 'bout murdering

I ain't getting my hands dirty

Let you worry 'bout serving them

- Pusha T, "Who I Am"

The lines explain that he doesn't actually do the dirty work in order to save his reputation. Instead, he lets his followers do it for him. In a sense, Abigail does a very similar thing; she doesn't actually send people off to jail. Instead, she blames them for witchery, and saves her name from being 'blackened'. Instead, it is Cheever who actually fetches the women. After all, she does run off once Proctor reveals his adultery with her, which had ruined her reputation.

Parris: ...Your name in the town-it is entirely white, is it not?

Abigail (with an edge of resentment): Why, I am sure it is sir. There be no blush about my name.

- Miller, The Crucible, Act 1, 127-130

Pusha T - Who I Am (ft. 2 Chainz, Big Sean)

The song isn't actually bad if you're into hip hop.

Except maybe 2 Chainz.

Make Stuff Up As I Go

The first time I ran into the idea of fabricating memories was back in 5th grade when I was arguing with my mother over whether or not I had put away my laundry. My mother claimed that I did not put away my laundry; I argued that I did. Someone was clearly making something up. However, the first time I actually ran into the concept from a more academic perspective was recently when I started to take the AP Psychology class. Our teacher, Mrs.Forshey, told us that anyone is susceptible to falsely fabricating memories. This came to me as a small suprise. Afterall, it seemed that it could be easily possible for people to imagine things of their past with simple suggestions. It seemed like it wasn't much of a deal, like that time I argued with my mother.

Until, I hit The Crucible.

The play included a few characters who had fabricated memories. Mary Warren, for example, fabricates memories of witchcraft upon pressure and accusations from Abigail and the girls. Her only natural instincts to survive points out into Proctor's direction, saying that it was him who had forced witchcraft upon her. They both end up behind bars. Unsuprisingly, the entire hysteria began with a similar situation, when Tituba falsely confessed of worshipping the Devil.

The play completely changed my view on psychology and how much power it can yield upon an individual. The power of suggestion is a phrase that demonstrates how much suggestion can affect another person, espercially in recreating a memory. For example, an unskilled psychologist would ask their patients to think of a time when they had a traumatic experience, such as sexual abuse. The patient naturally desires to appeal to those in authority (psychologist in this case) and imagines the memory that matches what the psychologist says. A step further from such actions is the False Memory Syndrome, in which a person strongly believes that a traumatic experience that never happened did happen, and centers their lifestyle around such falsely constructed memory. This is the exact phenomenon that fuels the hysteria in The Crucible. The townspeople construct false memories of witches, and start to accuse others for the sake of it.

The human memory such a strong yet fragile thing. It provides the ability to store information, yet it is so weak that it can be easily manipulated by a bunch of doctors asking questions.